“If the Democrats can’t win by a landslide, they ought to just close up shop and emerge in a different form,” Ralph Nader said this weekend as he announced his candidacy for President of the United States.
So if his chances of winning are so slim, whose money, exactly, is he wasting by running.
Jake came home from the Supercenter mildly unhappy, and sat down in my kitchen to vent.
“They’re out of Ice Melt ,” he said.
We’ve had some snow and freezing rain the past few days — the temperature hasn’t been above freezing in a week — and walking was, let’s say, thrilling, so I could understand his frustration.
“They say they’re sold out of the stuff because it’s summer,” he said.
Sure enough, he said, there’s all manner of garden stuff, swimming suits, and other warm weather attire and implements, but no Ice Melt.
“I told them somebody needed to notify God,” he said, “because a couple of us were planning to go skinny-dipping at the quarry tonight, but the rocks are too dad-blamed icy for us to climb back up.”
Roger Clemens vs Brian McNamee is the latest circus to occupy Congress when one might think there to be more pressing matters to keep them busy.
But the best line of Wednesday’s show was when McNamee told the Gentlemen and Gentlelady why he keep injecting steroids into his clients for several years, in spite of knowing it was illegal.
“I just assumed it was part of the culture of baseball,” said the former New York police officer.
I wonder what he would have said, in the days when he was a cop, to some guy who’s excuse for misbehavior was “I just assumed it was the culture of the neighborhood.”
She says when she told Dubya he could march off to war if he wanted, she never suspected he’d actually do it.
It’s an error anyone could have made.
— T. Samuel Emery, MBS
My friend Shaffer stood up from the stool and slid a $5 bill toward the clerk who had just served him a tall cup of coffee to go.
“It’s about time the president and Congress found something they can work on together,” I said.
“How’s that?”
“This economic stimulus thing. Things are a bit rough, and folks will cheer up a bit if they have a few dollars for a night out. And maybe after a night at Ruby Tuesday, they’ll have some money left for other things.”
“Sure,” Shaffer said. “Some of them might have enough left over to buy an mp3 player for the kid.”
“You don’t sound like you approve of the plan,” I said.
He paused a few seconds.
“Suppose you’re up to your eyeballs in payments to the credit card company,” he said. “Along comes your favorite uncle, and he borrows your credit card, takes it down to the ATM for a cash advance, and gives you a couple thousand dollars.”
“That’s silly,” I replied. “I’d have to make even bigger payments than I can’t afford already.”
Shaffer, smiled, picked up his coffee and left the café.
— T. Samuel Emery, MBS
